The Eight Sentences:(Well, nine, I rarely go over the limit. Maybe the moderators will be tolerant.)
“It’s a somnambulistic trance,” blurted Barger.
Dryden spoke up, “Where did that come from? First you reported the sheriff getting murdered and then all of a sudden you hit us with one of your big-ass words.”
“Well it isn’t that big of a word. I’ve heard of it,” said White.
“And the sheriff didn’t get murdered anyway. It was the police chief and Barger said he bought it in a shootout,” said Scully.
Dryden replied, “It sure as hell sounded like one of his Tourette moments to me.”
Barger was ready to rejoin the fray, “You’re both correct. It was one of my moments but it wasn’t something out of Mrs. Byrne’s Dictionary. A somnambulistic trance is like when you’re driving down the freeway in complete control of your vehicle and aware of everything around you, but your thoughts are elsewhere–didn’t you ever drive right past your exit that you’ve taken for years?”
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The Setup:
From Chapter Twenty-two my my current serial novel, A Year Without Killing. In this scene, members of the League of Old Men are talking. Hawk Barger’s “condition” has just shown itself. This was introduced in a previous chapter and snippet. He suffers from acquired savant syndrome and often comes out with unusual words at the most inopportune times. In this case, I wrote this scene to immediately follow a scene at the end of the previous chapter in which Star Braun experiences the trance to which Barger makes reference.
NOTE: Mrs. Byrne’s Dictionary will be the subject of a future blog.
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19 responses to “Driving in a trance”
Linda Hamonou
February 24th, 2015 at 10:03
I guess that’s one way of explaining sleep walking. I wonder if he is trying to look smart or if he has a point to make.
Aheïla
February 23rd, 2015 at 04:21
Your characters are cracking me up. They sound like a quirky bunch. Fun dialogue!
chellecordero
February 22nd, 2015 at 22:09
Love the very real interaction between them. And I love that we’ve all found the name for something we all do (wonder if a cop stopping us for blowing past a stop sign will know the term?). Great 8, er, 9.
jtsuruoka
February 22nd, 2015 at 20:28
It wasn’t the sherrif that got murdered– just the chief of police. That makes it much better 😉 I love the feel of this scene. We’ve all been in that kind of trance when driving before!
Patricia Green
February 22nd, 2015 at 17:14
This is a charming exchange, and it leaves me wanting to find out more about these characters.
veronicascott
February 22nd, 2015 at 13:47
I always enjoy the way these guys talk to each other. SO realistic, but with fun twists that you, the Author, put in. Terrific snippet!
Cara Michaels
February 22nd, 2015 at 12:56
Oh boy, do I know that feeling. Driving home and thinking, “Where did the last twenty miles go?” Nice snippet.
Karyn Good
February 22nd, 2015 at 12:48
I loved this exchange between multiple characters and how each one had something to say that moved the story forward. Well done!!!
Joanne Stewart
February 22nd, 2015 at 08:11
lol Yup. I too think it’s cool that I have a fancy big word to something I do everyday! You have a knack for dialogue! Great snippet.
Jess Schira (@ridingnwriting)
February 22nd, 2015 at 04:35
Cool! Now I know a brand new word/condition. 🙂 I love Dryden’s reaction. Another great snippet, Chip!
Iris B
February 22nd, 2015 at 02:32
Great snippet … and thanks for including the explanation 🙂
Daelyn Morgana
February 22nd, 2015 at 00:57
Love the witty banter. Barger sounds like quite the character.
And yes, I am guilty of doing that too. Though, for me, it’s mostly wandering off randomly into the woods or somewhere and forgetting where I was headed.
Author Charmaine Gordon
February 21st, 2015 at 22:25
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Oops, I forgot, too busy writing. Love the snippet and all is forgiven, Chip, eight or nine is fine with me. Shh. Don’t tell the boss.
P.T. Wyant
February 21st, 2015 at 21:29
I love the banter between them.
And I’ve done more than miss my exit — I took the wrong one on my way to work one day and headed off in an entirely different direction. (In my own defense, I was very tired and not quite sure if I was supposed to be going to work or school.)
Teresa Cypher
February 21st, 2015 at 21:23
I love the chemistry between your characters–you bring it out so well in the dialogue.
I’m with Gem… for years now…in the trance. 🙂
Gem
February 21st, 2015 at 19:29
Oops, I’ve been driving in a somnambulistic trance for years. 🙂
siobhanmuir
February 21st, 2015 at 19:16
LOL Yes, that was the exit and yes, that happens to me all the time when I’m going somewhere other than my husband’s office and I end up driving there. 😛 Great snippet, Frank. 🙂
Sarah W
February 21st, 2015 at 19:10
I have a copy of Mrs. Byrne’s Dictionary!
I’ve also managed to try to drop my kids off at school on my way to work ,on Saturdays when then aren’t in the car.
I like Barger. 🙂
FCEtier
February 21st, 2015 at 19:13
Thanks, Sarah.
Barger’s getting a fan club! LOL