Some of my friends consider me to be an anachronism.

In  some ways, they’re correct.  

In many ways, I’m stuck in the sixties.

Some of my mannerisms and behavior from the past  have  carried over into the new century. In fact, that’s one of them—my constant references to the “turn of the century.” It drives my proofreader nuts. He thinks that most people our age (baby boomers) will think of the 1800’s when I say, “…before the turn of the century.”  A topic for another blog.Newspeak-1

I don’t like the new age management jargon…

that has become prevalent in the last ten years. I prefer the old way of talking.

It was clear.

It was direct.

It wasn’t concerned about being politically correct.

[Some of my author friends may encounter this in their dealings with corporate types.]

 

Herewith, then, with tongue firmly planted in cheek,

is my interpretation of some of the more commonly heard newspeak terms and perhaps some comments about them.

Newspeak

reach out= ask   (Isn’t one word better than two?)

Ex. I’m so glad you reached out to me.  Why? Are you

drowning? I just asked a question, I don’t want you to touch me. This evokes memories of  The Four Tops.

going forward= from now on…

With the proper emphasis, this can be either a threat or a reassuring calmative.

best practices= “This is how I want it done,” or, “My way or the

highway, pal!”

dialog(ed)= talk(ed) Keep it simple!

(As in, “We dialoged about that yesterday. Sounds snooty.)

push back= disagreement, balked, whining (makes me think of

circumcision)

stakeholder(s) = employees (They’ve all got something on the line, or, at stake—their jobs.)

champion = responsible party (The person to whom you delegated a task or project.)

team = a time worn reference to a group of employees who doubt “team members” will  receive proper credit when it comes time for their annual performance evals.

takeaway(s) = (I tend to think of turnovers in football and basketball.) Anyway, a takeaway is what you eat with the coffee at a business meeting if you don’t like bagels.

And finally, an example:

Newspeak — “Going forward, assign some champions from your team and if you get any push back on the new best practices, reach out to me and we’ll dialog about it.”

Chip speak — When you show’em tomorrow how it better get done, if you get any complaints, call me and I’ll go up there and kick some asses.