FCEtier

I invited Jesus into my heart and He stopped by for a visit.

I heard a knock at the front door (I rarely have visitors) and expected to find a Jehovah’s Witness.

To my surprise, it was Jehovah Himself!

“Come on in, I’m surprised to see you,” I said.

“Why,” He answered, “I’ve been here all along. Let’s have a little talk.”

We sat in my living room and had a great conversation.

“Can I offer you something to drink?”

“Communion wine would be nice,” He said with a smile.

“I’d offer you supper, but all I have is some Pepperidge Farm whole wheat bread and two pieces of leftover fried flounder from a Father’s Day dinner at the country club.”

He laughed out loud, “You KNOW what I could do with that!”

Then He added, “A glass of room temperature chianti would be nice, you do have some red wine glasses don’t you?”

“I’m charmed with your sense of humor. I knew for sure you had a good one when you matched me up with my last wife.”

He smiled again, an engaging “You’ve been forgiven and I love you smile.”

He nodded at her photograph and said, “No doubt you feel her love every day.”

“Yes, every day. Thanks for the assurance, what a blessing.”

“You know I inspired Ms. Crosby to write the hymn, “Blessed Assurance.”

“You’ve been busy inspiring us for a long time. I just finished reading a book about the Bible and I’m confident you surely inspired the authors of the original manuscripts. I’ve had my doubts about all the translations and transcriptions.”

I got the wine, poured us each a glass, and He asked with a conspiratorial wink, “Did you get it from the spigot?”

“When we moved into this house, the neighbors told us it had a good well and the water was delicious. This came from a bottle of Bell’Agio, you know the kind with the basket around the bottom?”

“One of my colleagues was hidden in a basket.”

“We have no bullrushes here in the mountains–maybe in the swamps of South Louisiana.”

“There’s a question I’ve always wanted to ask you, if you don’t mind.”

“Shoot.”

“Are you very religious?”

“Hmmm….well, I was raised Catholic. John Paul II visited New Orleans didn’t he.”

“Yes,” I answered, “back in 1987.”
“Thirty-two years ago, not even a drop in the ocean the way I keep time.”

He glanced around my living room, which is really a library. Three walls are lined with books. Over the mantle is a shelf on which are some of the books that have had significant influence on my life including the Holy Bible.

There are several copies, in different versions, including one of those with what Jesus said in RED.

As His gaze lowered from the books, He turned towards me and our eyes met. We were thinking the same thing.

I said, “You can tell me how many hairs on my head, but have you read one of those red letter editions lately?”

“Not in a long while.”

“Do you have a preferred version?”

His eyes lit up and he flashed a wicked smile (Is that possible?) and said with a chuckle, “To quote some of my followers from Kentucky, ‘If the King James version was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.”

We shared another laugh and each had a sip of chianti.

I refilled our glasses.

He walked over to the shelf and picked up my large print edition, “Don’t worry, I don’t need glasses, this is the one with red print.”

“Have you ever considered doing stand up?” I couldn’t resist asking.

“You should have heard me as a teen in the synagogue! Remember, I’m Jewish. I wrote some of Dangerfield’s best material. You think that guy got no respect? Heaven, I gave him that whole schtick about no respect.”

I love this guy!

He found the New Testament and started turning pages faster than I could imagine–He reads fast!

Every now and then, He would stop, point to a passage and exclaim, “I never said that!”

“Or that.”

“Or this one. Unbelievable!”

“I’ve been misquoted.”

I was stunned. “Your saying something got lost in translation?”

“I bet you didn’t know I wrote most of the script for that movie. Bill Murray is one of my favorite actors, well, and of course, Charlton Heston.”

Then He continued, “Are you familiar with the word, ‘gnostic?”

“Yes,” I said. “It comes from the Greek word, ‘gnostos’ when meant, ‘known.’ Today we use ‘gnostic’ to refer to knowledge.”

“Very good, Chip. Now, on a related topic, I’m sure you’re familiar with a collection of items being symmetrical, such as both sides of a building. What happens if you add the prefix, ‘A?’”

“It becomes asymmetrical, without symmetry.”

“Put that same letter in from of gnostic and you’ve got a category of folks who don’t know what to believe.”

“Agnostic.”

“Looking through this revised new English jive version of what’s happening now, it’s no wonder there are so many agnostics in the world–they don’t know what to believe!”

I was speechless.

He could tell by the expression on my face.

We stood, He placed His hand on my shoulder, and said, “Just remember what John and Paul said because they got it right.”

I asked, “The Apostles?”

“No, the Beatles. All you need is love. I am love. Peace be with you Chip.”

He turned and although He left the room physically, I know He’ll always be close.