Posts from the ‘religion’ Category

I had a little talk with Jesus

I invited Jesus into my heart and He stopped by for a visit.

I heard a knock at the front door (I rarely have visitors) and expected to find a Jehovah’s Witness.

To my surprise, it was Jehovah Himself!JesusKnocking

“Come on in, I’m surprised to see you,” I said.

“Why,” He answered, “I’ve been here all along. Let’s have a little talk.”

We sat in my living room and had a great conversation.

“Can I offer you something to drink?”

“Communion wine would be nice,” He said with a smile.

“I’d offer you supper, but all I have is some Pepperidge Farm whole wheat bread and two pieces of leftover fried flounder from a Father’s Day dinner at the country club.”

He laughed out loud, “You KNOW what I could do with that!”

Then He added, “A glass of room temperature chianti would be nice, you do have some red wine glasses don’t you?”

“I’m charmed with your sense of humor. I knew for sure you had a good one when you matched me up with my last wife.”

He smiled again, an engaging “You’ve been forgiven and I love you smile.”

He nodded at her photograph and said, “No doubt you feel her love every day.”

“Yes, every day. Thanks for the assurance, what a blessing.”

“You know I inspired Ms. Crosby to write the hymn, “Blessed Assurance.”

“You’ve been busy inspiring us for a long time. I just finished reading a book about the Bible and I’m confident you surely inspired the authors of the original manuscripts. I’ve had my doubts about all the translations and transcriptions.”

I got the wine, poured us each a glass, and He asked with a conspiratorial wink, “Did you get it from the spigot?”

“When we moved into this house, the neighbors told us it had a good well and the water was delicious. This came from a bottle of Bell’Agio, you know the kind with the basket around the bottom?”

“One of my colleagues was hidden in a basket.”

“We have no bullrushes here in the mountains–maybe in the swamps of South Louisiana.”

“There’s a question I’ve always wanted to ask you, if you don’t mind.”


“Are you very religious?”

“Hmmm….well, I was raised Catholic. John Paul II visited New Orleans didn’t he.”

“Yes,” I answered, “back in 1987.”
“Thirty-two years ago, not even a drop in the ocean the way I keep time.”

He glanced around my living room, which is really a library. Three walls are lined with books. Over the mantle is a shelf on which are some of the books that have had significant influence on my life including the Holy Bible.

There are several copies, in different versions, including one of those with what Jesus said in RED.

As His gaze lowered from the books, He turned towards me and our eyes met. We were thinking the same thing.

I said, “You can tell me how many hairs on my head, but have you read one of those red letter editions lately?”

“Not in a long while.”

“Do you have a preferred version?”

His eyes lit up and he flashed a wicked smile (Is that possible?) and said with a chuckle, “To quote some of my followers from Kentucky, ‘If the King James version was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.”

We shared another laugh and each had a sip of chianti.

I refilled our glasses.

He walked over to the shelf and picked up my large print edition, “Don’t worry, I don’t need glasses, this is the one with red print.”

“Have you ever considered doing stand up?” I couldn’t resist asking.

“You should have heard me as a teen in the synagogue! Remember, I’m Jewish. I wrote some of Dangerfield’s best material. You think that guy got no respect? Heaven, I gave him that whole schtick about no respect.”

I love this guy!

He found the New Testament and started turning pages faster than I could imagine–He reads fast!

Every now and then, He would stop, point to a passage and exclaim, “I never said that!”

“Or that.”

“Or this one. Unbelievable!”

“I’ve been misquoted.”

I was stunned. “Your saying something got lost in translation?”

“I bet you didn’t know I wrote most of the script for that movie. Bill Murray is one of my favorite actors, well, and of course, Charlton Heston.”

Then He continued, “Are you familiar with the word, ‘gnostic?”

“Yes,” I said. “It comes from the Greek word, ‘gnostos’ when meant, ‘known.’ Today we use ‘gnostic’ to refer to knowledge.”

“Very good, Chip. Now, on a related topic, I’m sure you’re familiar with a collection of items being symmetrical, such as both sides of a building. What happens if you add the prefix, ‘A?’”

“It becomes asymmetrical, without symmetry.”

“Put that same letter in from of gnostic and you’ve got a category of folks who don’t know what to believe.”


“Looking through this revised new English jive version of what’s happening now, it’s no wonder there are so many agnostics in the world–they don’t know what to believe!”

I was speechless.

He could tell by the expression on my face.

We stood, He placed His hand on my shoulder, and said, “Just remember what John and Paul said because they got it right.”

I asked, “The Apostles?”

“No, the Beatles. All you need is love. I am love. Peace be with you Chip.”

He turned and although He left the room physically, I know He’ll always be close.

Desert Nomadic Values and Religion—Guest Blogger, Andre Le Gallo

99755-guest2bblog-2 My guest blogger this week is author and retired CIA officer, Andre Le Gallo.

He studied the Middle East at The School of Advanced International Studies at Johns Hopkins and lived in Muslim countries. We have reviewed all three of his books on the Middle East: The Caliphate, Satan’s Spy, and The Red Cell.

Readers of this column know we don’t follow the news. However, it was hard to miss exposure to Bill Maher’s recent comment about terrorism when he referenced so many bad apples demanded an examination of the orchard(at the 3:13 point in the video). Killing in the name of religion isn’t good for anyone. Christianity and Judaism can both be

Andre Le Gallo

Andre Le Gallo

criticized for imposition of outdated traditions on their members today although we’re not aware that either endorse homicide or human sacrifice in the 21st Century. There is definitely a need to be selective about which of the ancient values to observe today.

Therefore, it seems relevant to hear from a man who has earned the right to speak on the topic.

Welcome, Andre!


The discussions on Islam generally miss the point that it is not, strictly speaking, a religion any more than the iPhone is just a means to call your mother. Unlike Christian religions which focus on the individual’s belief in and relationship to God, Islam is a complete package governing every aspect of life on earth.

Islam set itself up as a new and improved version of the two previous monotheistic religions, Judaism and Christianity, whose prophets Islam folded into its own traditions. Islam acknowledged the previous two religions as foundation stones but also claimed that they had been superseded by the latest revelations. If Judaism was the 1.0 version and Christianity the 2.0 version, then Islam was supposed to be the new and improved 3.0 version. The other two were obsolete and no longer supported by God.

It is noteworthy that the Prophet was not only a religious leader; he was also a warrior, a merchant, an administrator, a judge, and a diplomat. An Islamic Republic is a state governed ultimately by “experts” who claim to represent God’s will. Governing with and through man-made laws is not part of the Islamist vision. In his book, What Went Wrong, Bernard Lewis recounts how early Muslim diplomats to Europe felt nothing but pity for countries that had to rely on their constitutions and statutes, all written by men, when they had Holy Law direct from God. Unlike Christianity’s now well-established principle separating religion from government, as in “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s”, Islam draws no separation between the two. This is not to say that Christianity’s path was without martyrdom, usually caused by others unlike the current Muslim experience, and violence. However, it evolved through the Reformation and the Enlightenment two hundred years later. Since the Islamists’ credo is that their religion’s core value is the eternal truth of the revelations contained in the Quran, the path to changes and adjustments, other than to cut out all changes to Islam’s original values, faces an internal roadblock.

Islam’s true believers are not content with simply worshiping Allah and leaving others to worship in their own way. Their intent is to spread their beliefs to all walks of life from justice to finances to equal rights for all.

A set of values compatible with seventh century desert nomads is irreconcilable with Western democracies of the 21st century.

Le Gallo's books are available on Amazon.

Le Gallo’s books are available on Amazon.

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