As it turns out, John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich and English estate manager Charles Cunningham Boycott have something in common. Need we continue?
Do boycotts result in forcing change? I suppose that varies with each episode.
Do they result in having an effect on a company’s business?
Yes.
If you don’t believe me, ask officials at Disney, Target, and Annheuser Busch.
Lots of people boycott different businesses for different reasons. What’s significant is how long do people continue?
In my case, there’s one company I’ve boycotted for over ten years, actually two, and for reasons of my own which are satisfactory to me.
My current list of companies I boycott is longer than my shopping list.
I find it mind boggling that as divided as our country seems to be, companies continue to tout their politics and positions on societal matters knowing full well they risk alienating almost half their customer base.
To begin our interview, let’s start with your clientele.
Who uses your services?
A. I want to represent older guys who know who they are, comfortable in their skin and relevant, not lost in a world of massive changes.
Tell us more about your brand.
A. My brand is about power and masculinity. I take a contemporary look at the golden era of Hollywood.
I found my clients were more about buying into the lifestyle of a successful rakish man, one who is aging gracefully and reinventing himself throughout each decade and stage of life. Staying relevant without being trendy.
Ah, “rakish!” I love that word, evokes thoughts of the dashing Hollywood star or jaunty renaissance man. How does it apply to your prototypical client?
A. He’s a guy with an attitude. Mostly because he’s been there and done that. No matter what “that” is. As they say this isn’t his first rodeo. He’s confident because he’s lived a life and learned thru trial and error what works and what doesn’t.
Now, give your take on two more words, “power” and “masculinity.”
A. Power and masculinity can be somewhat intermixed. Often, it’s a man’s masculinity that gives him power. But it’s not brute force. In fact, I find force offensive. One can be strong, masculine and powerful without being a brute or forceful.
What are your favorite movies for ideas about men’s wear?
Die Hard – when Alan Richman (the leader of the terrorist team) was discussing sartorial perspectives in the elevator was awesome!
Wall Street
American Psycho
Bugsy
Boardwalk Empire – HBO
Anything with Carey Grant in it
Public Enemies – inspired me to have Optimo make me a Dillinger fedora
Perry Mason – HBO
Gatsby 1974
Tucker and Sea Biscuit (Jeff Bridges basically played the same character in both films).
Godfather Part Two
Casablanca- the hat, but specifically, Rick’s white dinner jacket
What is your goal?
A. I’m creating the best dressed men in America.
How will you do that? Tell us more about what you do specifically.
A. I design wardrobes for my clients. Carefully designed and planned out with my clients image at the core of everything we do.
I focus on the individuality and rakishness of men who know who they are, what they want, and how they want to present their own unique brand.
“Brand.” Let’s consider that. I suppose you and I could wear the same navy suit, same white shirt, and same red tie and yet people would be able to distinguish our individual “brands.” How do I identify and convey my brand?
A. That can be achieved in many ways. The obvious choices could be accessories chosen or little nuances like how you wear those accessories. Or, it can be as dramatic as the individual. I live in Texas and many men will wear boots and a western hat with their suits. It’s not for everyone, but it is certainly their brand and how they’re identified. But I also look deeper. I’ll add little subtleties to someone’s choices to enhance that individual.
My background is unique. I was trained in classic menswear design but originally opted to begin my career in merchandising. After ten years, I switched careers and worked on Wall Street. As my career progressed, I started having my suits made, but never felt the tailors I used reflected my brand into my clothing. Then it hit me. I had a design background and understood the importance of creating and executing a brand, so I married the two and that’s how I began.
What makes me different from other designers, clothiers and tailors is I spent over 35 years as a professional businessman knowing how image impacts decision making and effectiveness.
Now, I help my clients leverage looks that make them more effective and confident in their lives.
Gentlemen: Have you ever had the desire to dress like James Bond?
Ladies: Would you like your male companion to rock a Bond outfit–or that of another dashing Hollywood legend?
I’m a member of several groups on Facebook with dapper/classic men’s attire as the subject.
A post caught my attention.
The article was about the gray suit worn by Bond in the movie, Goldfinger.
It was the scene in Kentucky at Goldfinger’s ranch.
Don’t get me wrong, neither my naivety nor my vanity are influential enough to make me think I would ever look as good as Sean Connery, much less attract a woman like Honor Blackman.
Over that last few years I have become acquainted with several of the members of these groups off line–in real life. One of them is an advisor/stylist. Neither your typical clothier, designer, nor tailor. David Ambrico really enjoys helping twenty-first century clients look their best in classic designs of yesterday. You don’t have to be a movie star to look your best.
A common thread (no pun intended) in my attire is trousers with pleats, cuffs, and a hat. Ambrico likes ‘em, too.
I asked him if he could help me with the Bond/Goldfinger suit and he answered confidently, “Do you want the same color pallet?”
And so began the odyssey of my first movie inspired ensemble.
It also was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. That’s the way Ambrico works. He forms a relationship with every client, helps them make the most of their wardrobe, and customizes their attire to compliment their own unique “brand.”
His clients include actors, writers, leaders in financial services, influencers, aficionados, and a cast of characters as diverse as the swatch books he uses.
Ambrico (right) with Mark Dacascos, “Zero” in John Wick 3.
He, like I, believes that not only do clothes make the man, but the man makes the clothes look their best.
It works — and so does he.
Ambrico helped me take advantage of the clothes already in my closet before I purchased anything from him. Since we began working together, I have made smarter investments in suits, shirts, trousers, and accessories.
Now I dress with confidence in business environments, dinner meetings, and on the golf course.
Dressing well is good for my business(author and photographer.)
I’ve noticed (too many times) we often don’t know how to stand when preparing for a photo.
During my years of teaching Dale Carnegie Courses and taking photos as a professional photographer, I’ve seen subjects in somewhat less than flattering stances.
Notice in the first photo, I’m standing in what we refer to as the “fig leaf” position. It does not inspire great confidence.
The “reverse fig leaf” is no better.
So how should I stand?
It’s simple. Let your hands fall at your side. This will get them out of your way and you’ll know where they are if you need them.
While squarely facing the camera — or your audience — is perfectly acceptable, there’s an even better position. Depending on your build, this pose can give you the appearance of being a few pounds lighter.
Stand on a forty-five degree angle to the camera.
Now that you have some examples of how to stand, perhaps you can be more convincing when you talk about where you stand on any issue.
I invited Jesus into my heart and He stopped by for a visit.
I heard a knock at the front door (I rarely have visitors) and expected to find a Jehovah’s Witness.
To my surprise, it was Jehovah Himself!
“Come on in, I’m surprised to see you,” I said.
“Why,” He answered, “I’ve been here all along. Let’s have a little talk.”
We sat in my living room and had a great conversation.
“Can I offer you something to drink?”
“Communion wine would be nice,” He said with a smile.
“I’d offer you supper, but all I have is some Pepperidge Farm whole wheat bread and two pieces of leftover fried flounder from a Father’s Day dinner at the country club.”
He laughed out loud, “You KNOW what I could do with that!”
Then He added, “A glass of room temperature chianti would be nice, you do have some red wine glasses don’t you?”
“I’m charmed with your sense of humor. I knew for sure you had a good one when you matched me up with my last wife.”
He smiled again, an engaging “You’ve been forgiven and I love you smile.”
He nodded at her photograph and said, “No doubt you feel her love every day.”
“Yes, every day. Thanks for the assurance, what a blessing.”
“You know I inspired Ms. Crosby to write the hymn, “Blessed Assurance.”
“You’ve been busy inspiring us for a long time. I just finished reading a book about the Bible and I’m confident you surely inspired the authors of the original manuscripts. I’ve had my doubts about all the translations and transcriptions.”
I got the wine, poured us each a glass, and He asked with a conspiratorial wink, “Did you get it from the spigot?”
“When we moved into this house, the neighbors told us it had a good well and the water was delicious. This came from a bottle of Bell’Agio, you know the kind with the basket around the bottom?”
“One of my colleagues was hidden in a basket.”
“We have no bullrushes here in the mountains–maybe in the swamps of South Louisiana.”
“There’s a question I’ve always wanted to ask you, if you don’t mind.”
“Shoot.”
“Are you very religious?”
“Hmmm….well, I was raised Catholic. John Paul II visited New Orleans didn’t he.”
“Yes,” I answered, “back in 1987.” “Thirty-two years ago, not even a drop in the ocean the way I keep time.”
He glanced around my living room, which is really a library. Three walls are lined with books. Over the mantle is a shelf on which are some of the books that have had significant influence on my life including the Holy Bible.
There are several copies, in different versions, including one of those with what Jesus said in RED.
As His gaze lowered from the books, He turned towards me and our eyes met. We were thinking the same thing.
I said, “You can tell me how many hairs on my head, but have you read one of those red letter editions lately?”
“Not in a long while.”
“Do you have a preferred version?”
His eyes lit up and he flashed a wicked smile (Is that possible?) and said with a chuckle, “To quote some of my followers from Kentucky, ‘If the King James version was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.”
We shared another laugh and each had a sip of chianti.
I refilled our glasses.
He walked over to the shelf and picked up my large print edition, “Don’t worry, I don’t need glasses, this is the one with red print.”
“Have you ever considered doing stand up?” I couldn’t resist asking.
“You should have heard me as a teen in the synagogue! Remember, I’m Jewish. I wrote some of Dangerfield’s best material. You think that guy got no respect? Heaven, I gave him that whole schtick about no respect.”
I love this guy!
He found the New Testament and started turning pages faster than I could imagine–He reads fast!
Every now and then, He would stop, point to a passage and exclaim, “I never said that!”
“Or that.”
“Or this one. Unbelievable!”
“I’ve been misquoted.”
I was stunned. “Your saying something got lost in translation?”
“I bet you didn’t know I wrote most of the script for that movie. Bill Murray is one of my favorite actors, well, and of course, Charlton Heston.”
Then He continued, “Are you familiar with the word, ‘gnostic?”
“Yes,” I said. “It comes from the Greek word, ‘gnostos’ when meant, ‘known.’ Today we use ‘gnostic’ to refer to knowledge.”
“Very good, Chip. Now, on a related topic, I’m sure you’re familiar with a collection of items being symmetrical, such as both sides of a building. What happens if you add the prefix, ‘A?’”
“It becomes asymmetrical, without symmetry.”
“Put that same letter in from of gnostic and you’ve got a category of folks who don’t know what to believe.”
“Agnostic.”
“Looking through this revised new English jive version of what’s happening now, it’s no wonder there are so many agnostics in the world–they don’t know what to believe!”
I was speechless.
He could tell by the expression on my face.
We stood, He placed His hand on my shoulder, and said, “Just remember what John and Paul said because they got it right.”
I asked, “The Apostles?”
“No, the Beatles. All you need is love. I am love. Peace be with you Chip.”
He turned and although He left the room physically, I know He’ll always be close.
(Bible quotations for this article are all from the King James Version distributed by the Gideons.)
John 19:14, “And it (the day of crucifixion) was the preparation of the passover…”
Jesus appeared before Pilate, is ordered to be executed, and is taken off and crucified.
But wait,
the author of the Gospel known as, “Mark,” writes in Chapter 14:12, “And the first day of unleavened bread, when they killed the passover (lambs), his disciples said unto him, ‘Where wilt thou that we go and prepare that thou mayest eat the passover?’”
And then in verse 18, “And as they sat and did eat, Jesus said, ‘Verily I say unto you, One of you which eateth with me shall betray me.”
Hmm…According to this writing, Jesus clearly survived the day of the preparation because he ate the Passover meal with his disciples (the Last Supper) in the “Upper Room.”
Image credit: wikicommons
One possible reason for this obvious discrepancy,
according to Bart D. Ehrman,Ph.D., Professor of the Department of Religious Studies at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, “Is it possible that John has changed historical data to make a theological point, that he’s changed the day and hour of Jesus’ death precisely to show that Jesus really was the Lamb, who was slain on the same day and at the same hour (and at the hands of the same people–the chief priests!) as the Passover lamb?” This explanation would confirm the identification of Jesus as “the Lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world.” John 1:29, 36.
Should discrapancies between Gospel accounts be considered “errors?”
Does it matter to you if the accounts of the New Testament are historically accurate?
It does to me, for reasons of my own, which are satisfactory to me.
My desire to eliminate this “So” thing began a few months ago.
In spite of my efforts to avoid it, I still catch myself.
It was beginning to seem as if I was alone in my disdain for a pernicious speech pattern taking the country by storm.
Easy to have such a perception when so many people have succumbed to what I consider a lazy sentence construction.
It’s even begun to appear in the printed word. [sigh] And from presumably otherwise intelligent reporters and pundits on TV.
It’s almost as bad as that unnecessary “that,” or “like.”
When it comes up on conversation, it’s been pleasing to discover others share my concern. It’s almost as bad as not teaching cursive writing in elementary school. How does a kid sign his/her name? (Another topic for another blog.)
A quick check of the thesaurus reveals a number of alternatives and in many cases it seems “so” is nothing more than a filler for a silent pause. It’s an unnecessary segue to the next sentence.
Just say what you want and get on with it.
Silent pauses are preferable and most of the time, much more effective.
I first began to notice this construction when my boss called me. As usual, the call began with preliminary pleasantries. Then a “so-pause.” He would say, “So…..” and I knew the reason for his call was about to be revealed.
My favorite substitutes are “aaaaahhhh” and, “ummmmmm.”
Mike Sitton of the Asheville Toastmasters confirms that in addition to “aahs,” they also make their speakers aware of “so” and other unnecessary “filler” words. They use a clicker or a horn. Maybe we could all use verbal reminders. (I bet the Toastmasters club in Starkville, Mississippi uses a cow bell.)
We’ve discussed this at work. I asked my co-workers to stop beginning a sentence with the word, “so.” I’ve begun responding by saying, “No so!”
To this point, no one has complained I’m violating their first amendment rights. Hopefully, none of them show up at work with a black ski mask and a baseball bat.
Which reminds me. Maybe I’ll create a group to fight this “so” usage and crusade for more appropriate speech.
I’ll name the group, “Anti-SO” and see if I can get major funding from a guy whose name begins with “SO.”
I DON’T KNOW IF THERE IS A GOD, BUT IF THERE IS, LOOK FOR FOUR PAWS AND A WET NOSE
We pet lovers all have our own ways in which we grieve over that inevitable time when we have to say good bye.
In my case, knowing that our dog for the past ten years would die of terminal cancer near his brain, I had plenty of time to plan. Plenty of time because instead of needing to be euthanized quickly given the outlook, with great hospice and vet care he would ultimately live 5 months post diagnosis.
That was fortunate for me. I am Santa Claus and upon learning the news in early December last year, I dreaded the Christmas season for obvious reasons. Hard to be jolly, knowing he was home waiting for me after an assignment. That progressively wasting muscle loss near his beautiful eyes…heart wrenching. And don’t even ask how I handled the kid who wanted a puppy.
But he made it through December and all the way till early May when the vet, my wife and I all knew it was time. The ashes were given to me shortly after Chenji’s passing. (We actually had chosen to have his euthanasia at home. Some readers may be unaware of that personal and comforting option. Worth discussing with your vet). My plan afterward was pretty simple. Scattering those ashes according to a memorable timetable.
At the one month mark it was to be in our backyard near the azalea bush he posed in front of just before his death. My wife and I both scattered a small handful there.
At the two month mark I arranged to meet the friend who gave Chenji to us. She had found him, abandoned, under a tree in a local park in September 2008. That seemed like a perfect location to leave some more of his ashes. At the very spot where he came into our lives.
The three month milestone was this past week. It would be at another park where we took him just a few weeks after adding him to our home. Though always good about coming back to us when off leash – that day – Christmas morning – he did not return. My theory is that he took off after some deer. His predator instinct was too overpowering for him to think about returning. Luckily and astonishingly, by the time we got back home, a man was waiting for us with Chenji in his car. He found him on a street heading for our house three miles – and several busy streets – away. So that was Christmas miracle #1 and added to #2 (surviving for all of last December) he and Santa had clearly forged a special bond.
First Christmas together.
So there I was last week. I am only yards away from where Chenji was likely found ten years ago. I am gently holding that Santa tin which contains his ashes. I deposit some of them there and near a dog park across the street where he was “banished” for being too aggressive playing with other dogs the first few weeks we had him. (A problem which occasionally did surface with our otherwise perfect pooch). So, all the while I am promising him that he is now in a “dog park” where he cannot be banished, and offering up some Rainbow Bridge stuff, I start walking back to my truck. Talking to him some more through my tears. It’s then that I spot the three deer. Two smaller ones and a large one. I am nowhere near enough to be a threat and they saunter off.
Suddenly, the large one freezes and stares directly at us. Our eyes lock. And the communing with nature begins. A remote possibility this is the deer Chenji was chasing 10 years earlier? Perhaps its offspring? No way to tell. But in that moment, I felt some real spiritual force at work. After almost a full poignant minute, the deer goes to join the others but not before one last gaze at Chenji and me.
As if to say “here’s looking at you kid”.
A sentiment that all three of us could have said of the other two.
One eighty-five. Maintained that weight for over thirty years.
Last time my body fat was measured, within normal limits 18-24%.
Purchased my first custom made shirt in 1983.
It was the only way to get sleeves long enough and have the rest of the shirt fit correctly.
Custom made shirts back then were less than $100 each.
Now they’re over $200 each.
A few months ago, I met a guy online with whom we share some friends in real life.
He and his partner have a “made-to-measure” shirt company by the name of “Short and Fat.” It’s a “dot com.”
Their shirts are $97.00 each.
I was able to pick every feature with their “build-it-yourself” software.
Material, collar, cuffs, fit, pockets or not, pleats in the back, monogram, color of thread for buttonholes. Every design element of the shirt was my choice.
Even the length of the shirt tail. (I can imagine short and fat guys having a problem with “off-the-rack” shirts causing plumber’s crack or a Bellywink TM. Ugh!)
I couldn’t locate my choice of fabric on their website and one of the partners (Blake Adams) helped me via Facebook Messenger to find just what I wanted.
My first shirt arrived and every aspect of it has exceeded my expectations. Color matches the background of my newest suit.
I picked thread color for the buttonholes to match the lining of the suit.
It has the same features I look for in a top shelf custom made shirt.
Side/body seams and sleeve seams are double stitched.
All fabrics offered are 100% wrinkle resistant Egyptian, Italian & Swiss Cotton.
French cuffs and collar reinforced for durability and a smooth, precise, wrinkle-free finish.
All S&F shirts are made with “non-iron” material. I prefer to iron my shirts and that’s fine, too.
Every shirt comes with free monogramming and an unconditional, “No Bullshirt” guarantee.
There are special times and places where I’ll always wear one of the custom made shirts in my wardrobe.
There are many more situations in which I’ll wear my personally designed S&F shirts–even though I’m tall and almost slim.
Thanks to ShortandFat.com, I’ve added “men’s clothes designer” to my resume.
If you’re a dapper dresser, it’s time you did as well.
Well, the truth of the matter is, “I NEVER said he stole money.”
No, wait, I meant, “I never SAID he stole money.”
But really, I said, “I never said HE stole money.”
And so on.
Changing the word that gets the emphasis, the meaning of the sentence changes. It can change six times.
What did the person hearing it perceive? Perception is reality.
Suppose the hearer was a reporter with a bias against whomever said it. How would it be reported?
Before publishing their story, would the reporter have taken the time to investigate what happened to cause the subject to use the above six words?
If you’re old enough to remember Watergate, you remember Ben Bradlee of the Washington Post would not publish anything Woodward and Bernstein wrote without two corroborating sources.
Now, suppose you heard someone of importance use the above six words with NO emphasis on any particular one.
And suppose you had a personal bias against the “he” who may have stolen. We all hear what we want or expect to hear. Those six words would delight our senses and confirm our suspicions.
What is the truth?
Can reality be relative to the perceptions of the hearer?
What about the speaker?
Whom do you trust to tell you the truth?
Recently I shared an item on Facebook from a friend. It was a link to a website and featured a headline expressing surprise that in light of what appears to be a popular tax cut, the opposing party announced plans to tout a tax increase in their efforts to gain influence in congress in the 2018 midterms. It quickly provoked a comment from a real life friend of mine questioning the source. I asked why that would be important if the information turned out to be true?
To be fair, it has been my contention for over sixty years that all news outlets and media are biased. As polarized as the country is now, it’s hard to find a middle of the road source of information (notice I avoided the word, “news?”)
If you listen to or read readily available (notice I didn’t say “main stream?) information, you can rely on two things:
It will be biased.
Regardless of the bias, it will conform to the age old motto of news media, “Never let the truth interfere with a good story.”
Good stories sell.
Choose your poison.
Are we any closer to the truth?
In court, it’s long been commonly accepted that eyewitness accounts are unreliable. When there are more than two, they seldom agree. Now, with the advances in video technology, is video tape trustworthy? I recently heard even the Zapruder film had been altered.
Can we trust online fact checkers?
My friends on the left like Snopes while my friends on the right prefer FactCheck. They both cite major funding sources as their reason not to trust.
What about a situation in which someone you trust throws you a curve? An old friend sent out and email to his list of friends. I quickly identified it as a joke. It was masquerading as a newspaper article. Some recipients thought it was factual and replied with concerns for a professional who had supposedly been caught in a dalliance with a patient. He reports to his own amazement about half of the recipients thought it factual–despite the inherent absurdity.
Is the truth relative?
I’ve always appreciated the axiom that “perception is reality.” If how we perceive information is in fact what we interpret as truth, then whether or not something is in fact true, is like beauty.
It’s in the eye of the beholder–no matter the source.
==============================
[NOTE: Special thanks to my good friend Art Hoffman for suggesting this topic.]
July 4, 2023
FCEtier
To this point, no one has complained I’m violating their first amendment rights. Hopefully, none of them show up at work with a black ski mask and a baseball bat.
At the two month mark I arranged to meet the friend who gave Chenji to us. She had found him, abandoned, under a tree in a local park in September 2008. That seemed like a perfect location to leave some more of his ashes. At the very spot where he came into our lives.
guarantee.
FCEtier 